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Thanks for the love on here over the last years. Us boys goin in fer the Full Tesco - yup, a bag for life. Opefully the bowel cancer screening programme has caught it in time to save that life. Goan tu be busy recovering ferra cuple uv months but like Arnie, I’ll be back!

Us boys adda busy weak tidyin up loose ends an geddun reddy fer ozpital necks weak. Be brikkin it tu be tru but onwards an oopwurds. Gude naight orl!

Tis a nu weak. Avva gude one, frens!

Eevnin orl. Us av cut grass an mended radio key fer SWMBO’s Farbia. Tis nuff ferra Sadderdi. Avvin hamman nu teddies ferrus tea.

COME ON GUYS! AT LEAST HE DIDN’T POST IT ALL IN BOLD CAPS!!!

Morning volks, be a boodivul dai doan yer. Geddun dugs, zhobbin an woshin dun urly then off fer levvenses doan pub.

That be anuvva weak oaver, us boys returned ferra pint an urly tu us bed. Zleep well frens, avva gude weak end.

Evenin frens. Us bro av gorn ohm. Twuz gude tu zee ‘un oaver a vew pints (morna vew asherly) an ee leff a boddle uv vindidge port be’ind. Be a Graham. Us av puddun inna zafe plaice but it be playin on us maind. Us maight weaken afore bro’s necks visit.

Moornin orl, tis drai but chilli, bedderun spectid. Us boys off oat wi dugs then buyin bread fer breckfuss wi us bro. Bidda relaxing ahead if us lucky. Avva gude one volks!

That Michael Fish wuz best Fish of orl. “No tornado” wuz bess foreskin im ever made. Iffn he’d told the trufe, undreds wuddve died (tryin tu escape, tyin doan shed roofs, geddin up ladders). Ee were told tu say that and thank godd ferrit. 15 dead in ole orrible event.

Moornin volks. Tis drai yer tudai, local cats av orl venchered oat to faight an sit lukin at eee chover while squawkin an owlin. Tis a bad racket: us’d zhute em but tu uv buggers be ourn. 🙄

Us boys crossed oat the Tory parasite an wrote Lord Ippo oaver top. Pleece turned up wivvin minnits tu give us boys a goin-oaver but there wuzzun nuff of em. Equity and the Rule Of Law shall prevail.

Moornin orl. It av bin pizzundoan lars naight, us opin ferra drai waulk tu wurk. Us bro be vizittin at weekend zo plenny tu du ledder. Wishin yer orl a gude dai!

Evenin volks. Tis more an enuff fer one dai, us off tu us scratcher. Zwete dremes orl.

Gude renny mornin vrum Debn, volks. BBC zez as ow The Hummer uv Holyrood av walked away: anny chance the Auld Incumbent will offer er services agen?

Whilst standing on your head in a ballet tutu and whistling Scarpia’s Theme from Tosca.

Thass moreun enuff fer one weak end, volks. Us boys off tu push oat zum zeds. Zleep well, frens.

Morning orl! Tis drai doan yer zo oat tu river urly wivvus dugs. Em huntid scentline tu the riverbank an inneruptid an odder aboat is brekfust. Twassa lamprey, zo us lobbed it in after im zo dugs diddun geddun. River be zo clean now after orl ren us av ad.

Go on…..say “the doors will fall off”. You know you’re dying to. 🙄

An fule economery anorl.